Activities That Might Prove More Practical Than Cleaning My Gas Mask Once a Month as the Army Suggests.

BY JOHN MCRAE

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Welding additional armor plating to the underside of my Humvee

Registering to absentee vote in the event that my tour gets extended

Writing my increasingly distraught mother a letter

Disassembling and cleaning my "freedom stick" (a.k.a. M4 carbine)

Checking out Fox News in an effort to truly grasp how and why things are going so awesome-tastic

Putting on a fresh pot of coffee